Time...

A colleague at the office made an interesting comment to me today that got me to thinking. We were talking about books and reading. I stated that I no longer have time to read so I find books I like and listen to them on my Mp3 player on my commute to and from work. He commented that we really do have time it just depends on what we feel are priorities.

When my kids were growing up I feel now like I had time. I was married to a not so nice individual whom I divorced eight years ago. When he was not home, which was often, I and my kids did a lot of things together. I had a full time job, four children, a husband who did nothing as far as being a family and I still feel I had more time then than I do now. I can't seem to figure it out.

Or maybe I have the same amount of time, just more things to do. I know a couple of my kids will disagree, however every waking moment of my life then was spent thinking about them. Protecting them and protecting them meant keeping them away from our house and the ex.

So, I was with two of my daughters to watch them shoot their first deer. I went to my sons baseball games, until I had to stop because I was not good at being a quiet mom. No I was never thrown out, I chose to watch from the car for his sake. He brought home each and every one of his girlfriends. I like to think it was for approval from old mom, but...

I watched them go to their first prom, my daughters first blind date with her now husband of 8 years, in which I sat across the street from the cafe she met him at. And witnessed the birth, participated in one, of 7 of my eight grandchildren.

But now, time just seems to be slipping by and I can't seem to catch up. I used to go camping nearly every weekend, fishing when ever I wanted and a trip every now and again to the river to just think. Where did that time go. I had four children for God's sake and still had more time then I do now.

I have a dress for my granddaughter that is cut out but has not been sewn yet. I have a scrap book that has one page done in it. I have two more dresses I want to sew. Just not enough time... or is it I am not making time? Something to ponder.